Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.- James 3:18

9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 

10For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 

11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 

1 Peter 3:9-11

 *warning: lengthy post*

I always thought that I am unfortunate to lose some of the friends I treasure during this turn of events. I woke up today and realised that there are actually a lot of other friends who told me that they are happy for Max and me. I realised what I have not been doing and that is being contented.

I am always so afraid of the views and how people look at me or us. Esp when that group of K's always commented things on social media. Natural reaction will probably be awkward when we see anybody that belongs to his clique (and of course, him).

My gf couldn't understand that and I don't blame her. She ended the friendship before anything could have been explained and I don't blame her too.

Cried, angry, frustrated, depressed and whatever negative emotions have been felt during these period of time.

But I never been thankful for everything happened. I have never been thankful for those who stood by my side and helping me dodge the bullets. I never been thankful for love to always wipe away the tears whenever I drink. I have never been thankful to my family that they tell me to do what makes me happy and that love is really more compatible with me.

From the start, this is what makes me happy. Being together with my best friend is what makes me happy. Why does it at the end of the day, this is the thing that makes me felt the most upset about?

After this trip then I realised that it was me that couldn't let go. I took it too hard on how people will see this on me. Probably cause those commented I thought they will be fine with it or even if not, they will listen to both sides of the stories. I trusted them as friends.

At the end of the day, I realised that even if it wasn't M who came in the picture, there will be other guys. I don't love K anymore and it started more than a year back before we broke up. The crack was there and I cannot be the only party mending it.

I gave up on us because he didn't put in effort anymore.

Ok. I should stop typing out my thoughts. It's a lengthy post but I just want to say out how I felt. People can misunderstand and hear one side of the story for all they want. I'm gonna live my life to the fullest. It's time to be happy and not get affected by what they say anymore. CIAO!