I dream of us and wake up alone

I won't be the one to disappoint you anymore.

2012-03-12T02:43:00.000+08:00

Saving up for my driving license now. After my driving license, I shall save up and curl my hair! Like so many things to do uh! Did I mention I chop off my hair?! Yes. My hair is still considered as long hair but it's so much shorter than before! Like damn sian. That's why I shall curl my hair after I get my driving license. Haha. Must save up! Well. I had a fever a few days back ): This time is different. Wlsl was beside me. Taking care of me. I keep on wake him up in the middle of the night because I was really unwell. Told him I wanna drink water and he'll get it for me. Well, I'm really a princess on that day. Haha. He took great care of me. That's why I recovered after a day :D Heh. Need to sleep soon so I can wake up and do up my Multitude card and open up another bank account to save my money up! :D Suddenly, I'm quite curious to see the casting of The Phantom of the Opera. Hmmm.

-Abrupt ends-

Heartache, heartbreak, having to say goodbye, these are the things I hope never happen when I look into your eyes.

2012-03-01T04:51:00.000+08:00

Here I am blogging cause I don't have things to do. Feels like writing down my thoughts. Well, I'm kinda afraid to fall again. My previous relationship is good. My ex treats me real sweet, he doesn't flirt, he doesn't play, doesn't two time, all his time is devoted to me, caring and is willing to forgive me for everything I have done. I'm really grateful for that. Similarly, I'm guilty too, because I can't give him back the same treatment. Because I know if I do it, I'll be over-doing. I'll be a control freak, I'll be someone who is paranoid everyday, I'll be a bloody bitch who check his phone everyday thinking if he sweet talk to girls, I'll not give him any freedom and etc. Therefore, I never allow myself to fall deeply in love again. No doubt my ex and I are still pushing and puling here and there, all I can say is he really loves me a lot. No one has ever loves me this much and so afraid of losing me. He thinks I deserve a second chance for all I have done while I think I should just burn in hell. Even though some stuffs are inevitable, I didn't initiate it but it still pricks me whenever I think of it. Wlsl, thanks for all the love you have shower me. Never felt so love before. Even though we are not together, but, Ily, from the deepest feeling of my heart (:

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love than a love into friendship.

2012-02-24T04:03:00.000+08:00

I wish I knew the truth behind the lies. So much to type, to much to write. Snap it out, Clairis Lee. You don't need him. Tsk.

Work tomorrow. Bah. There's an event which means....I'M GONNA BE FUCKING BUSY. Damn. Thinking if I should work on Saturday or go club. Shall see about that and decide tomorrow. My rashes is getting worse and worse. Hope it gets better tomorrow after consuming my medicine. I WILL NEVER EVER EVER SIT ON GRASS AGAIN EVEN THERE'S A MAT. Fuck this skin allergy. My neck not the filled with rashes now! Super irritating.

-Abrupt ends-

You're the only one who can make my heart stand still, I don't want to let you go, but I will.

2012-02-23T17:25:00.000+08:00

Blogging cause I didn't know what to do. My rashes are getting worse. Spread to my hand, thighs, tummy and neck. I'm like scratching like a monkey now -.- Gonna bathe and prepare so I can meet Shinny and Nic soon. Haha.

I have never had Jarrell not reply my messages nor not picking up my calls. Sigh. I'm like super worried for him. Just be fine....thi rak.

Love ends when you stop caring.

2012-02-22T12:18:00.000+08:00

Shall blog because I WOKE UP. Miracle. Half of my usual sleeping time. I think my body wants to auto adjust it's own body clock. No photos so suck it bitch. HAHAHA. I was thinking that I can rest on Sunday but seems like Bernard wanna meet me up for a movie date. Ahhhhh. Why my whole week so packed?! I still haven't squeeze in Daohong's date. DAMNNNNNNNN.

Well, my blog titles always mean something. Not everythime but sometimes it just mean a thing or two. Find my title quite interesting today. Haha. Love ends when you stop caring. I guess it's true. Ended and over and done with. A lot of things isn't something you can control and predict. No one knows that I broke off with wlsl, broke contact and stuffs. He most probably hate me to the core now. Maybe he thinks that I'm playing with him. Hmmmm :/ But it's ok. His life seems more stable now and he seems more happy now. And I'm glad for that. As for me, well, time to pursue the stuffs I want and take a break from relationships. I'm broken enough......

I'll get by without you, I'll pull it off somehow

2012-02-21T19:38:00.001+08:00

With my hair pin up and my killer heels. Hehe. How's life for you guys? Life is always the same for me. Work, friends, games and dramas. Haha. I always anticipate to work because there's my bitch with me, Jarrell and Nelson! Heh. Nelson always makes me laugh by disturbing FangFang. Jarrell, as usual, irritate the shit out of me. Hahaha. Bernard still owes me a meal. Shall remember this. Lol. Sometimes I wonder is it me or I'm too busy (thick skinned as usual. HAHAHA). Felt my schedule quite packed. Should be meeting Shinny later and then at a later timing, meeting Jarrell. Wednesday might be clubbing or maybe I can go work, Thursday meeting Jq, nic and Shinny, Friday work, Saturday see wanna work or wanna club. Sunday is like the only rest day! And wah lao. It's all night life for me. DAFUG. I really need to adjust my body clock back. It's like damn unhealthy. And I haven't bank in my cheque yet. Oh well. Slowly luh. No need rush. LOL. Totally got no idea what to blog already so ciaos! :D

And I won't forget you

I don't regret you

And the hardest thing in fact to do is live without you

And I wonder why we both walked away

I'm lost without you, still crazy for you

Just turn around, come back

because your smile is overdue

And I miss, I miss you.

#songlyrics.

Advanced Valentine's Day Celebration

2012-02-13T03:06:00.000+08:00

Wlsl choose this day to celebrate vday it's because it's our anniversary date too. So smart of him to save money uh. Hahaha. Wlsl text me saying he reach already and when I went out of my house, I saw a paper asking me to pick up 'lost' strawberries aka paper strawberries which he made. There's a little paper basket which he made asking me to put it inside. After that, walking to the lift, he surprised me with a bouquet of flowers from behind. Heh. When I was in his car, he told me to open up 1 of the strawberries. Inside slot a small little paper which tells me where is our next destination. Like damn cute only! :D So here we are, the place where we had for dinner and the server was really nice to initiate to help us take this 2 photos even though it's blur (:

After that I opened up another of the strawberries and it was dessert time! :D Ate ice cream at MaggieMoo's and it was not bad! :D Wlsl then drove me to NTU which is his school to sit 1 place to slack. Looking up, the sky was filled with stars! It was such a nice scenery! :D Slack and home! Took some photos before I went home too!

Ending off with my favourite picture of the day! :D

The wrong ones can't hurt you. It's the right ones, they're the killers.

2012-02-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

Helipad has been hell for me after working for around 1 month. Managers there really don't treat us as humans. I'm lucky that there are great working friends with me if not I would have just resigned on Friday. It's like managers there makes me felt like they just throw money on us. Die die wanna make us pay for 1 jug just because this stupid fucker customer said he didn't order but OBVIOUSLY I serve 2 jugs over. Yes. Don't make me see the asshole customer. I think I'll scream at him. After making us, the floor staffs, pay for the fucking bill, manager return us the money. OK. I'M NOT A FUCKING BEGGAR OK?! THE MONEY YOU RETURN, I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE A SINGLE CENT. Yes. I agree this manager is nice and stuffs but he doesn't really knows how to understand what staffs felt like. We got our pride. Another floor staff didn't take back his money too. But really lucky of my working friends. It was my fault since I wrote the order and I really don't know who serve the jug of beer beforehand due to the crowd. All of my working friends suggested to pool in the money to pay for the bill with me. Thanks guys (:

Sometimes, goodbye is a second chance.

2012-02-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

Friday is coming. I'm gonna work with my bitch tomorrow. Heh. First time working with her! :D Hope I can be on the bar with her! :D Some people just seriously turns me off -.- I'm not very nice when I'm having my mood swing I swear. Went out with Shin and nic today. Chill and talk cock. Hehehe. Wanna club on Saturday man ):

我会发着呆, 然后忘记你

2012-01-30T17:17:00.001+08:00

又想了一遍你温柔的脸, 在我忘记之前.

Fear makes people do very silly things.

2012-01-29T05:12:00.000+08:00

After a certain point, a heart with so many stress fractures would never be anything but broken.

It's 5am and I'm sitting in front of my laptop blogging. Well, first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GERMY! :D Hope you have fun today and stay happy always (: Filled with laughter today, even though it's a bit gangsterish in the context but nevertheless, it's fun. Mood swing comes and goes nowadays so don't touch me guys. LOL. I'm seriously still wondering when will my gmarket stuffs arrive -.- Well, there's a lot stuffs and feelings I feel like writing it down but I don't think it's a good idea. Haha. Oh well. Time to go to bed. Nights people (:

Learn not only to find what you like, learn to like what you find.

2012-01-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hiazxc. Work tomorrow. Hope everything goes well and hope my pay faster come soon. I'm broke! Hahaha. Cny haven't over and I'm complaining broke already. LOL. WHY MY GMARKET STUFFS HAVEN'Y DELIVER TO ME YET?! Sian. Thinking of what to wear on Saturday! I'm going to my bitches' place to bainian! Woohoos! MONEY $.$ Hahaha.

Second chances.. they don't ever matter. People never change

2012-01-20T00:45:00.002+08:00

Picures from Z's birthday which is new year countdown celebration. All not edited though. Hahaha. And yes. Pin up fringe! :D Look like a kid :/ Hope my dresses from gmarket arrive soon so I can go alter them fast fast! ): Spend like a bomb lah. $400++ spent on cny clothes and I probably not going to wear all of them -.- Oh well. Working at Helipad as a server now. Angmohs there are real friendly! Pretty much of them praised me pretty. I'm so flattered by their comment and 1 even said that I got pretty eyes! Awwww! How sweet of them! Wlsl has just applied for the exchange program and he might be going to Korea for 6 weeks. Well, might but a higher possibility since his grades are good in NTU. So I need to wave goodbye to him for 6 weeks. Gonna miss this boy of mine ): Oh well. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so I shall take it as a good thing. Hahaha. Don't really know what to blog so BYE BI! :D

Selling

2012-01-17T00:54:00.001+08:00

Hey peopleeeeeee! Sorry for the lack of updates but I'm selling this maxi dress away (Click on the picture for a larger view) . It's totally brand new. I'm selling it off because I can't seems to pull it off #woesofashorgirl. HAHAHA. I'm selling it for $17 inclusive of postage! So please contact me at clairislee-smackyou@hotmail.com or 90294088 for fast deals! ARIGATO!

Cny Shopping!

2012-01-10T00:59:00.000+08:00

I've just shopped for cny. Only difference for this year is, I shopped online. LOL. I HAVE JUST SUCCESSFULLY SPENT $160 ONLINE. FTS. Wah lao. Damn broke now can! ): I bought a Cheongsam after much consideration! Think I'll look like some freaking mature lady in it. Most probably look like someone from the 60s-70s, esp if I tie my hair up also. HAHAHAHA. But oh well. Never try never know! Baybee wants me to wear it when I go his house bainian. He confirmed laugh at me one lor! ):

And yes. For those who are wondering, wlsl and I are ok now. After thinking for a few days, I decided to return to his arms. Hahaha. Oh well. I can't wait for cny's celebration at nic's house again! :D hehehehe. And I shall dressed up! Woohoos! :D I just remembered I haven't checkout another of my shopping cart. Shit. Buy so many things -.-

Emo like a nemo

2012-01-04T09:47:00.001+08:00

This is probably the only post I will not put on facebook that I've updated my blog. And after this post, I will not put it too. Reason? I never wanna affect his life. A lot of things I wanna tell him. Things like I miss him and all. this feeling makes me felt like I'm crippled. It makes me felt like I can't walk out of his world. No doubt my life is quite alright and I'm really contented for it, but I guess letting go and moving on are 2 different things. Think I belong to the let go because I have accept that he will never be back. Or rather, he has never tell me any answers. Somehow I'm sick of waiting. 2-3 months ago is like this and now the same thing happens. I don't wanna be the same old confused state. I'm always in pain because of his indecisiveness. This feeling is like shit. I don't like it. Just because he's unsure with his own feelings, it makes me feels like mine is messed up because of that. Everytime when he made a decision, it's too late. And no. Drinking everyday and get drunk whenever I drink? Nah. That's only that Wednesday. Was too emo. Drank to be numb. Drank to sleep well. Drank and get drunk to not to dream of you. How would you feel every night having super sweet dreams and then woke up feeling alone? The feeling is like fuck up k. Every morning waking up to find myself crying. Try going through what I have gone through every morning, you'll know the pain.

Still remember what he signed off with the Christmas card. He said love me always. I don't know why, I find it sweet. haha. But those days will not be back. Baybeeboy, keep going strong k? You will find someone who's better than me. I know you're already moving on an letting go. Continue. You'll be fine.

Love you always,
Clairis Lee.

I need to forget this pain...but this pain is all I have left of you

2012-01-03T16:36:00.001+08:00

Shall share a few emo songs I have been listening to. LOL. These few songs has been on infinite loop. Old school songs but I think whatever songs that's nice you'll just listen one lah hor? :/

K. I need to bathe and go out soon. Byebi!

PS: DID I MENTION I BUY ONE ULTRA HIGH HEELS?! ALTHOUGH IT'S A SIZE BIGGER BUT FUCK THIS SHIT. BECAUSE I LIKE IT. HAHAHAHA.

I can't have you for mine and I know it.

2012-01-02T13:52:00.000+08:00

Went to Jdee Thai Disco with Yongqin. Was saying to order tower but luckily we didn't! Order 1 jug of beer and then this customer gave us another jug. We drank like damn slowly. Hahahaha. Shinny, Jonathan and Nawawi came to join us aftermath. Their Thai disco is just a street opposite ours! Hahahaha. Guess what's the best part of the Jdee? IT SPINS HOUSE MUSIC WHEN THE THAI SINGERS ARE TAKING A BREAK. So it became like a club instead. And and! I rave in the Jdee till I elbowed the chair yesterday. God damn pain can! Jonathan and Shinny bought another jug when they came in and then when it's closing, boss of Jdee gave us another jug. I'm like so bloated after that! Yesterday was funnnnnnn! THANKS YQ FOR THE TREAT! :D Wednesday Butter Factory! Am I the only one excited for it? :/

Sunshine fades and shadows fall. But sweet remembrance outlasts all.

2012-01-01T16:26:00.001+08:00

Outfit of the day for new year's eve.

-post deleted-

Heh. Just deleted my post because I met Yongqin! Yes! My boyfriend :p Hahahaha. K lah. Just kidding. LOL. The guy that straight away come out when I needed someone (: he actually talk a lot of things with me so thanks dear! (:

It's better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved forsomething you are not.

2011-12-30T12:02:00.002+08:00

I always thought my blog title "I dream of us and wake up alone" is just a quote. But these few days, I:m like experiencing it. Ever since the break up, every night I'll dream of him and yet, in reality, I'm really alone. Oh well. Life. Hahahaha. I did up my nails! Although Christmas is over, I really wanna do up my candy cane nails again! So my nails looks like sweet now. Hope I don't bite it off. HAHAHAHA. Gonna meet Shinny and Jq up later for some gaming at westmall. Heh. Shinny says he's gonna treat me games. How sweet of him :D Ok lah. Even if he doesn't treats me I also need his card cause I got no timezone card. Heh. Listening to happy songs makes me happy :D I should like stop crapping and just go get my breakfast. Damn. I'm damn hungry. Tsk ):

可惜时间回不去了。

2011-12-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

I don't need a lot of things

I can get by with nothing

Of all the blessings life can bring

I've always needed something

But I've got all I want

When it comes to loving you

You're my only reason

You're my only truth

I need you like water

Like breath, like rain

I need you like mercy

From heaven's gate

There's a freedom in your arms

That carries me through

I need you

You're the hope that moves me

To courage again

You're the love that rescues me

When the cold winds, rage

And it's so amazing

'Cause that's just how you are

And I can't turn back now

'Cause you've brought me too far

I miss him. As in a lot.

Butter factory.

2011-12-29T13:50:00.001+08:00

Posting this post using my iPhone. Heh. Went to butter factory yesterday and fuck. Is it ph guys too cheapo or butter factory guys are fucking rich? One guy open bottle for Felicia and another guy whom I barely know for half an hour gave me one bottle. Wtf. Have a little too much and I vomited like fuck when I reach home. Cried like fuck too after club ends. Oh well. Effects of alcohol. Magnifies and shows how upset you really are. Thanks nic and shin took all my shits after I got ultra tipsy yesterday. Hahaha. I'm kinda addicted to butter factory! Ladies night, here I come again!

When I didn't need anyone, I needed you.

2011-12-26T03:01:00.000+08:00

K. I'm finally blogging after MIA for so long. Above photo proves that I LOVE THEODORE! Hahahaha. Actually I don't know what to write but added in my blogsong that I stumbled upon when I was hopping music on youtube. Hahaha. Find the lyrics meaningful. Heh. K. I need to entertain wlsl. Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

我相信我们会更好的

2011-12-13T04:07:00.001+08:00

Love doesn't makes one grows up. Hurt does. Pain does. I think a lot (although I don't seems like I does). But the only thing is, I'll think of all the negative things and only one positive thing at the end of the day and it can seems to erase all the negative things. Haha. Of course there's always a thrash hole to a person's limits. So far only one person make it there. Only that one fucking bastard motherfucker no balls asshole. He's an asshole I'll never forgive. Never ever. Till now when I think of everything he does, it still makes me feels like slapping him. Oh well. Life is tough. Never fret because god always has plan for you. I always believe in Him even though I didn't head to church anymore. I wanna go back to God's arms. All those prayers and hymns always calms me down. And, I need a job T.T

There were hard times I know we survived, just because you stayed by my side

2011-12-09T02:37:00.000+08:00

I took this photo using wlsl's iPad. And well, wlsl seems to LOVE this photo a lot. HAHAHAHA. I was talking to Shin yesterday after club ends and I saw this girl wearing leopard prints jumper with slippers. I couldn't take it so I told Shin " Look at that girl. She should at least wear a red/black colour belt with heels at least. " Hahaha. I'm such a bitch. Oh well. Christmas is coming and I haven't get wlsl's christmas present :/ I'm always last min doing up stuffs. Put back my blogsong and I kind of like the song. Heh.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

2011-12-07T04:28:00.002+08:00

Apparently life's good. Wlsl has been fetching me home whenever I go down to cck and find him. Such a gentleman (: Not bad. I'm like being treated like a princess. Heh. Wlsl like ultra nice to me nowadays. Maybe he did something he shouldn't do. LOL. I shall head to bed soon. 2 more hours and I'll need to morning message wlsl. I tried setting alarm and gave him a morning message today and not bad. He seems to like it. Shall continue like this till he finishes his attachment :D I'm still trying real hard to secure baby. Maybe morning messages may seems something small, but I'm really trying hard. So like I said, take it easy on me (:

I'mma happy kid

2011-12-06T03:46:00.001+08:00

Yo readers! Back and just changed my blog to public. Heh. And being super random, I have just accepted all the friend's request that is storing in my facebook account. I don't know why I accepted strangers also but, oh well. Hahahaha. Life's good except for some dogs really get on my nerves for like countless of days.It's ok. Mommy always teach me to be kind to the poor. HAHAHAHA. Oh well. Life is tough. I'mma happy kid cause I'm going to exchange presents on Christmas! So eggcited! Heh. Shall make sure I stay awake till 6.30am to give wlsl a good morning message. So nice of me :D

The hardest thing that anyone can take away from me is, my smiles.

2011-11-24T15:04:00.000+08:00

I have been repeating the song 一个人睡 by 魏晨 from yesterday till now. Don't know why 越听越好听. Hahaha. It has these smoothing melody which I like. I always prefer to hear Chinese songs than English songs/house music because I like the calmness and smoothing melody. The only English songs that I will always listen are the oldies. The melody really is damn nice.Even though I have house music and rnb songs in my phone, I'll always conveniently skip them. Hahahaha. Oh well. Life is tough. I miss baybee! ): Wyman Lee, oohhhhhh :o Heh.

The same man that tears you down is also the only man that can make you smile.

2011-11-20T20:49:00.000+08:00

Teehee. At baby's house now. He's like playing games. Too busy to entertain me so I shall blog. Wanna go sing kbox! ): And I need a job badly. Pfft. Need money. Money money, please be attracted to me like a magnet can? Bah. I think I need some plastic surgery. Need my boobs to be bigger, need my nose bridge to be sharper, need my tummy to be flatter and need my face to be sharper. HIAZXC. Life is tough. Oh well. Baby still isn't caring about me. So I shall go disturb him now.

Money, please drop from the sky.

2011-11-16T18:54:00.000+08:00

Ok. Bear with the used photo. I think I have accidentally thrown away my this black dress. Like sian. I need shopping! I need money! I'm a broke little kid ): Argh. Someone please give me money ):

2011-11-12T03:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if you're better off alone.

He thinks I'm cute, and he makes me laugh. sometimes that's all you need.

2011-11-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

Yes baby. I'm blessed to have you. From a guy who has been standing beside me when I fall out of love and then to a guy who is my best hubby and then now to a guy who is my beloved boyfriend, you stood by my side no matter what. I'm thankful for you having so much faith in us, showering me with all the love you have, trusting me and doting on me whenever you can. I won't be able to walk through all the obstacles without you. I won't be able to stand up without you. You're the one who stood by me when I couldn't sleep so badly at night. You're the one who 'saved' me when I got dead drunk in the club but still came when you have such a tight schedule. I know I never told you how much I depend on you, but at my weakest moment, you were strong and pulled me through. Happy Advanced 1 Monthsary to us. I love you Babyboy ♥

Left or right window?

2011-11-08T13:18:00.000+08:00

I saw this really cool picture on 9gag. Kinda shows that there is always 2 sides to a coin. Learn to stand in another perspective and maybe things might get better. Had this awesome weekend with baby. Nua at his house yesterday and ate home cooked food. I love home cook food. Nom nom nom. Heh. Felt so blessed with baybee around. Actually I'm always afraid to tear this barrier down. Even though I promised baybee that I'll tear it down, but at the same time, I'm afraid that it will hurt me even more at the end of the day. It's like the more precaution you took, the more badly you will fall at the end of the day. I guess I'm always looking at the negative sides for this thing. And I'm quite sure he can't handle my little world with such a big complexity inside me. Oh well. Shall see how it goes. Hahahaha. Maybe things wouldn't be that bad afterall. Hmmmm.

Electropop hot

2011-11-06T16:30:00.000+08:00

Well, I have decided to be an irritating girlfriend today. Hahahaha. Good luck baby. HAHAHAHA. Oh well. Actually I wanna meet Nicholas today but change of plans when I saw the video. HAHAHAHA. Bowling with Boyfriend yesterday and hmmm. We both sucks at bowling. HAHAHAHA. Whateverrrrrrrr. Heh. Gonna go ice skate with boyfriend on next Saturday. Super healthy activity lah! :p

Never fear shadows, for they mean a light is nearby

2011-11-04T01:25:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. Stupid 1 letter replies which I hate like fuck. Next time I shall reply it in that manner. Hahahaha. Well, I've thought of my goals when I going to get my cert. Nope. I'm not going to go straight for my degree cause I wanna save up for my own degree so it will take sometime. While saving up, this is the stuffs that I'm gonna do during my free time!

Work is of course a must since I need to save up.
Open another bank account and make sure $100-$200 is being deposit into the bank every month after I got my pay and make sure I don't use the money because it's for my degree school fees!
Go get my driving license!
Learn dancing (well, I'm actually still thinking whether I should learn dancing or singing)
Save up another sum of money to go overseas! :D

Actually that's about all. Shall add in if I thought of some more. Hmm. It's great to have goals but hope I don't be too relaxed about it. Taurus has a stupid trait of being too relaxed about their stuffs which people deemed as lazy. HAHAHAHA.

A failure will only be called one when he give up on trying .

2011-11-03T02:54:00.000+08:00

Heh. I actually have more drive to blog nowadays. Maybe because I'm too free at home. Hahaha. Oh well. I think I shall save up for my remodule fees -.- Oh oh. I need to go posb bank soon. It sucks when you can't book tickets online lor. MUST GO DO. Clairis Lee, don't be lazy can or not? ): Oh well. Life is tough. HAHAHAHA. Maybe I'll head down to posb tomorrow. Heh. Hope my mom don't anyhow open my letter again. SHE WILL NEVER EVER GIVE ME MY PRIVACY ONE LOR. TSK. Oh. I'm thinking whether I should go JB this saturday or not. Hmmmm. Shall I go shop till I drop? HAHAHAHA.

Life's like photography, you use the negatives to develop.

2011-11-02T02:16:00.003+08:00

I've locked up my blog. Well, quite reluctant to lock it up because I'll be losing readers ): But oh well. Life is tough. Haha. Business law re exam is this Saturday. Damn. Like so stress. I DON'T WANT TO REMODULE ): Someone help me pleaseeeeeeee! ): Time to sleep! Good nightttttttt! :D

Slutfuck please, my phone battery last longer than your relationships.

2011-10-31T01:42:00.002+08:00

Oh hi STALKER. Hahaha. Well apparently Saturday's clubbing session is no good. Bored like mad. Oh well. Shall go out on a normal date with baybee this week. Heh. I think I'll lock up my blog soon. Maybe plus delete people from facebook and block people on twitter. I can't imagine if someone uses someone else account just to stalk me, esp haters. I find it annoying. I shall prevent it from happening. HAHAHA. So those that I'm gonna unfollow, block and delete, I apologise for it. But serve you right for letting other people intrude your privacy. HAHA.

I gave you my heart and that's all I can give you, and if that's not enough, then I'm not enough.

2011-10-26T14:51:00.002+08:00

Awww. Cute babybee. Heh. Well, I need to get back to study soon but I supposed I can blog. Whole family is at JB shopping and I'm stuck at home being forced to study. Tsk. Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER LESTER LEE! 21 already! Key to freedom! Enjoy your day bro! :D

MIJUMARU!

2011-10-23T23:27:00.003+08:00

Hello stalkersssssss. Well first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST SWEETEST CUTEST BABYBOY, WYMAN LEE! Awwww. Someone old already! Although I didn't have any time to celebrate your birthday with you, a belated celebration dinner will be on me, I promise (:

Ok. Any close friends of mine should know I always go crazy of mijumaru. Mijumaru is a pokemon from the season best wishes. Haha. He was really cute and damn blur. Kind of irritating but still, KAWAII! So I saw this mijumaru soft toy at amk hub today! It looks exactly like the one I had in my photo. Like ultra cute only! Didn't get it because I don't think I need it. But damn, I really find it damn cute. In love with Mijumaru. Heh.

Explanation? Fuck off.

2011-10-21T00:51:00.004+08:00

Well, I really hate explaining things. To me, those who need your explanation, won't believe you and those who believe in you won't need it. Like today/tonight, my dad ask me why am I back so late. I told him I went studying. He totally don't believe it. He went like "I don't know what you're doing outside." Like hello? I tell you I'm studying already and you don't believe in me. Look at what I mean by those who need it won't believe it? He needs my explanation when I go home late and yet he doesn't believes it. That's why sometimes I never bother to explain and clear things up. I hate it. I seriously hate it. When I give a fuck to explain things to you, you better believe it or else, don't expect an explanation from me from then on. It's not only applicable to my parents or siblings, it's applicable to EVERYONE. I don't care how you think of me as long as I know where I'm heading to. Oh well. Shall stop all my rants. Ciaos.

If you love me like you tell me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it, just don't break it, or my world will fall apart.

2011-10-19T17:22:00.002+08:00

Isn't it amazing when someone whom you have never ever thought of getting together is like your partner now? Well, I have never thought of being together with baby. All along it was just a I-flirt-with-him-he-flirts-back kind of thing. Haha. Well, eventually we did get together and all I can say is, bliss (: Baby really dotes on me and me dotes on baby too! Heh. Well, we have small little frustrations at times but it always works out cause I give in to baby :x Hahahaha. Maybe he'll kill me for being so thick skinned and making him look so unreasonable. HAHAHAHA.

-Abrupt ends-

No matter how serious life gets, you still need that one person who you can be completely stupid with.

2011-10-18T14:05:00.003+08:00

Hello sweethearts! Actually I got no idea of what I should blog but I shall keep my online diary lively! Heh. Babyheartie is damn cute nowadays. Hahaha. I got so many nicknames for him! Ok lah. I should start mugging soon ): Must mug mug mug! Must mug like mad! ClairisLee, go study now! Oh oh. Baybee is coming to my house later! To teach me stats. Imagine I ended up teaching him. HAHAHAHA. Oh well. Life is tough.

有你是幸福的

2011-10-16T17:20:00.003+08:00

I look so weird in the photo but whatever. Hahahaha. Well, I had a splendid weekend with my baybeeboi. I didn't go clubbing! How good girl! :D hahaha. My study week is coming so it's time to mug! Argh. Hate to mug ): Wyman Lee Wyman Lee, you this 小气鬼! 我爱你 (:

If love is maths, you're the solution

2011-10-11T15:19:00.004+08:00

Have been leaving my blog dead for quite some time so here I am to revive it. I totally have no time for any luxuries. Wednesday and Thursday for assignment, Friday meeting 3 of my gems and Saturday need to date my Babybear out and the only day I get to rest is Sunday. HIAZXC. And the next week is hell week as my major exams are coming up. So I have to mug at home for the whole week and make sure I study finish so I can head to the night cycling. Bah. Busy die me. I don't even have time for Babybear. But it's good that he understands. Thanks love <3 Shall bring out my camera on Saturday and camwhore with my precious babybear. Hehe.

Sometimes, I felt that I'm the luckiest woman because I have you

2011-10-02T21:18:00.003+08:00

Yes. Shall not leave my blog dead. Hahaha. Well, shall post up a simple post before I have my late dinner. My whole body like ultra itchy. Stupid mosquitoes/bed bugs. Ok. Disclaimer: it's not my room or my bed that have mosquitoes or bed bugs respectively ok! Argh. Life is quite passable for me except for my mood swings. Hahahaha. And damn! I haven't start on my assignment. God damn shit.

最痛的距離,是你不在身邊卻在我的心裡

2011-09-27T22:48:00.004+08:00

给我一个理由忘记那么爱我的你，给我一个理由忘记那么疼我的你。
我的笨熊熊，我真的真的好想你。

Love is like an hourglass. It has its time limits.

2011-09-26T21:43:00.004+08:00

Ciaossu. How has life been for you guys? Mine isn't that great but still, it isn't the worst period of my life though and thank god for that. Haha. And besides, if god brings you to it, he will brings you through it isn't it? I believe in him. I wanna go back to church. I wanna quit smoking. I wanna quit clubbing. I wanna quit drinking. I wanna learn how to control my temper. Shinny is damn funny today. I told him life is tough. Guess what is his reply? He replied me "No. Your life is tough." HAHAHA. Oh well. Shinny, that's why I'm still standing strong today. Because I've gone through far more than what I should be going through. I may act like a childish little 18 year old kid. That's because you only lived once! Have fun man! H3h3. Ok. Shall sleep soon so I can wake up for tomorrow's lesson. Statistic and IT, HERE I COMEEEEE! SHALL CONQUER YOU TOTALLY. BWHAHAHAHAHAS.

You can break my bones but not my heart.

2011-09-20T20:48:00.002+08:00

I had a awesome birthday celebration with my classmates today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAWAN! You know we are always by your side! Always your awesome classmate! Hope you enjoy everything today. Although drawing is not really great but it's passable lah hor? Don't pick the faults ok? :p Business Management students, LET'S CHIONG FOR OUR LAST SEM TOGETHER! And damn. I just love my school cliques. Too lovable (: Of course, not forgetting my bitches who will be reading this posts including all my gems. With you guys in my life, I don't think I will ever ever say "FUCKMYLIFE!" because my life is always awesome with you guys (: HEHEHEHE. I'm so sweet. I'm the sweetest strawberry princess! :p

The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other.

2011-09-14T15:08:00.005+08:00

Ahhh. Don't wanna leave my blog dead so I'm blogging now. And my bitches are stalking my blog. So I got to update! Life has been pretty torturing for me. Something is not right. I think I need to sort my thinkings and things out quickly. Sigh. Oh oh. I think my Fundamentals IT lecturer damn cute sia. HAHAHAHA. Wear formal wear with track shoes. Heard that my Business Statistic lecturer is a fucked up person. Shall see for myself tomorrow. Hmmmm. And and! I saw an eyecandy in my school today. Though he's ultra short but, WOWABLE. Damn. I go school drool at guys. AHAHAHAHAHA. He got the handsome boy look! OH MY TIAN. HAHAHAHA.

I waltzed around you seven times only to become a melody you never sang

2011-09-02T17:16:00.004+08:00

You know, I wanna look pretty without make up on too. I always feel myself god damn ugly without make up. Yes. I'm too used to make up. Oh well. I'm blogging because I found this ultra cool app to edit photo on iPhone! Yes! It's damn cool! Ok. So look at the before image first!

Before...

After...

Oh my! Don't you think the after image looks so much nicer! Well, if you guys prefer the non-edited one then I suck thumb lor. I definitely prefer the edited one. Hehehe. And there's so much more effect other than this lah. So cool mannnnn! Hehe. Ok lah. I'm just here to haolian my photo only. Hahahaha. Back to studying T.T

We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him

2011-08-31T18:32:00.007+08:00

Wouldn't it be nice when you're have your mood swing (no matter you're on your period or not), someone whom you really cared about actually cares to give you a super big bear hug?! Well, I'm a hugger. I love hugs. I want to get hug to bed everyday. Sigh. No one is nice enough to hug me to bed ): Am I too ugly or what? Why isn't anyone hugging me when I'm upset? ): I wanna get hug to bed so badly ):

By you esp...

I was holding on, now I'm letting go.

2011-08-22T16:29:00.002+08:00

Rawr. I'm leaving my twitter dead. It's 4.45pm on my phone now. Normally I'll drop you a text reminding you to take your stuffs cause I promised you to remind you everyday. But, oh well. Haha. Mommy is whipping up a feast! And I'm gonna pack my clothes! My 3 big bloody bags of clothes -.- Oh oh! ANYONE KNOWS WHERE TO DONATE CLOTHES? I WANNA DONATE MY CLOTHES TO KIDS OUT THERE! At least donating my clothes is better than throwing them away. So do leave a comment if you guys know where to donate ok! Love you guys! :D

Sometimes, goodbyes are better left unsaid.

2011-08-21T16:56:00.002+08:00

Ciaossu! Went soul and then ph yesterday. Realised I'm a god damn nice person afterall. LOL. Ok. Not the main point. Well, I'm doing my ultra best to keep my blog alive but I'm always so lazy to blog :/ Oh oh. I WANNA GO COLD STONE CEMETERY AND EAT THEIR ICE CREAM! Wanted to eat yesterday but saw the queue like damn long -.- Met up with Yongqin yesterday have a h2h talk with him. Looking at his plight now really reminds me of my last relationship. It was really in chaos. Well, hope he's better now. LeeYongQin, you're not alone. Be strong please (: Oh oh. I haven't mention that my sister came back from Taiwan and I got like 3 big bags full of clothes! HEHEHEHE! I'm a happy girl now cause I got new clothes. I'm like so easily contented :p

I got eyes that lies and a heart that cries

2011-08-17T16:09:00.002+08:00

I miss the old me. Like cute only. Innocent innocent one. But too bad. There's always a turning point in life. I guess I've changed for the worst. Oh well. Life. I was talking to Shin yesterday on msn and he told me an interesting fun fact. He said that he tried to imagine being me for a day and he wonders how I can take all shits coming in and still can laugh and smile happily. Therefore, he praised me being super strong. AWWWWW. I'm always strong what (standard self praising). HAHAHA. Whatever lah. Shit happens but life still goes on right! So just smile and brush it aside. Hehehe. Actually I got no idea what to blog but I just hate to leave my blog dead. Hahaha. I like my blog song. So cheena. But whatever. It's a damn sweet song lah! :D

Dear Heart, I'm sorry I keep putting you through this.

2011-08-14T15:23:00.003+08:00

Hai babies! I'm back. Miss me?! I went to experience some other clubs yesterday instead of going powerhouse everytime. I went to tab, avatar and soul! Club hop like mad and Soul is damn fun! Loving Soul. So next Saturday, I'll be at Soul again! Any clubbers out there wanna come with me? HEHEHEHE. And thanks Alvin TAN for all the Jager bombs and cabbing me home even though you stayed at SengKang there. I wanna quit clubbing but Soul is too much a temptation for me to go. HAHAHAHAHA.

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change.

2011-08-06T11:38:00.003+08:00

I like to blog. But whenever I blog, it's filled with negative thoughts. My blog use to be so cheerful. Ever since so many stuffs happen recently, I keep on haolam-ing. So not good. Ok. So my life has been quite mundane for me. School, cck, home, clubbing or pubbing. Standard lifestyle for me. I hate it. I hate my night life. Sigh. It kinda sucks when memories of you is everywhere. Ok. I'm not gonna be an emo da bian after this post. Anyways, thanks Nicholas for texting me straight away knowing I'm not alright and still offer to get me cigarettes. You're the best (:

Kiss me, love me, dote me

2011-08-04T22:54:00.003+08:00

I'm tired of getting hurt, tired of being the one chasing, tired of being the one that have to act as though as she's strong and tired of being the pillar of everything. When I told myself I wouldn't fall anymore, I fell. When I told myself I wouldn't repeat the same mistake twice, I actually did it again. Gotten my heart broken twice by the same guy, never gonna have the third time. I still love him. I definitely do. Just that we are never meant to be.

Btw, don't you think Bryant boyfee looks damn cute in the photo? Awwww. Feels like pinching his cheeks.

There should be a relationship status for "I don't even know whats going on"

2011-07-31T21:29:00.002+08:00

分开的故事，是多么不舍。说好的爱情，没有你怎么完成？
怎样的我才能让你想念？能不能给我一个答案？不要让我痴痴的等。

The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don't care at all. I feel like ranting. I don't know why am I so tensed up nowadays. I could use some hugs now. Sigh. Feels like I'm gonna break down soon. I don't know what's happening to me now. Got. To. Be. Strong. Clairis. Lee. You. Can't. Fall. Apart. Everyone. Needs. You.

There was one thing I didn't show; I love him and he doesn't know.

2011-07-31T14:14:00.002+08:00

Hahaha. The photo was when I still have my bangs! Look cute rightttttttt! :p Ok. Shit. I actually haven't start on my assignment research after allocating the job scope to my classmates. W and I went swimming yesterday. He drove over to Sembawang and we went to swim. And Wyman Lee, you're damn hot. Hahahaha. W came up to my house after swimming and look at me prepare and make up till he fell asleep on my bed. Cute him ♥ Went over to his house and my turn to look at him prepare -.- Met up with Bryant Boyfee and the rest. Was damn late when I reach the club cause Zen is fucking late as usual -.- Alvin fetch me home aftermath and W drop me a message asking me to rest early. Still add in heart shape siolllll! HAHAHAHAHA. And then I felt guilty for being so short tempered because I threw my temper at W in the club so I text him a apology message and blame him for making me so tired. HAHAHAHA.

It's like the first time I threw my temper at him. During these 2 years of friendship plus 'relationship' , I never once bear to throw my temper at him because I owed him a lot. No matter is taking care of me when I'm drunk, lending me his shoulders when I'm down or treating me to dinner, movies and still remember my belated birthday celebration, I definitely do appreciate of what you have done for me.

W, you're the best husband I can ever get. Doting me like mad and being patient with me for everytime I made a mistake or whatever not, I'm really lucky to have you. You made me feel like I'm the only girl in your world (but unfortunately, I'm not :p) . I love you dearest ♥ But I know you love me more :p

I hate it when my anger turns into tears.

2011-07-29T15:28:00.002+08:00

IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY, GONNA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY! Yes ah! Weekends are coming! PARTY! Went to swim yesterday. Felt so healthy. Hehe. Wanted to make it a point where I swim every week but I always don't have enough time. Oh well. Haha. I'm like eating ice cream everyday. Gonna be a fatass soon. I can feel my tummy getting bigger and bigger :/ ClairisLee, you this little fatty ): Drinking, smoking, fast food and ice cream everyday, clubbing, what kind of lifestyle can be more unhealthy than this? -.- Ok. I'm tired. Time to have a nap. Hehe.

Just once I want to fall and have someone catch me.

2011-07-27T22:15:00.003+08:00

Dinner date with W today ♥ W was so troublesome. Just because he was wearing formal, he wanted me to dress up so that I can accompany him. Such an ass. Hahahaha. I wanted to just wear jeans and heels but he told me to wear nice nice. Thus, I robbed my wardrobe, finding some nice dresses to wear. In the end, I found none so I just wore the dress in the picture. W met me at city hall mrt station and he was LATE. Wah lao. How can let a girl wait for a guy one?! It's alright though because W treated me to dinner. Hehe. Sweet him eh. Went to a place called Lenas cafe and ate. Food was not bad but the ice cream there sucks much. Not nice one -.- Slack and walk around Raffles city for awhile and then went home. Reach home and W sent me a message that make me blush on the spot (LUCKY I AT HOME) . It says something like " The dinner was worth it. You're stunning today " . Woah. I was like awwww and blush! H3h3. Sweetest him ♥ Well, that's my day today. It was awesome (: Esp that message. HEHEHEHE.

It's sweet how you believe you're in love with me.

2011-07-26T20:50:00.002+08:00

I have come to realize that he's just a guy, a special one maybe, but he's not mine. I don't need to do things to make him love me again. If he wanted to, he would. I always fall for that one guy who is so out of reach, but still close enough to make it hurt. Not emoing ahhhhh! I'm always that happy cute little ClairisLee. HAHAHAHA.

Sigh. school starts and it's so tiring. Heard that there's a change in timetable but MDIS FOREVER won't mail me my new timetable one. And oh my. AMGL JUST CONTACTED ME. He went Malaysia on Thursday. Life seems so mundane without him driving me around to play. HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I tried calling him since he has auto-roaming but I can't get through for some reason. Hmmmmm. In any case, can't wait to see him! :D Maybe I shall meet him on Thursday if Alvin doesn't needs any help in accounts since Alvin that idiot just plant an idiotic bomb on me today (as usual. Know him for so long already, until now still haven't change) -.- Oh well. Whatever it is, I'm a happy girl naozxc :D

I'll escape you, one day.......

2011-07-25T13:35:00.002+08:00

Let him go, get him out of your head; remember you're not in his. Forget his birthday, his phone number and the sweet things he said; remember those were lies. Delete his texts, take his contact out of your phone; remember he's talking to all those other girls instead. Quit wishing he'll come back, stop putting yourself down. Remember it's not your fault, he has no good reason to leave. Just stop it, stop it all and erase him from your past. Block out his name, ignore his texts, plug your ears when someone mentions him because trust me, he's doing perfectly fine without you. If you ever want to get over him, get yourself off. Take every object and memory you have of him and throw it in the trash. And then maybe, if you're lucky, you'll escape him.

The worst battle is between what you know and how you feel.

2011-07-24T18:31:00.002+08:00

Don't lead me on and leave me confused. Any girl would rather be left alone than to have her heart abused.

Hello readers. Special post uh. I got 2 quotes. Hehe. I got no idea what to blog but yesterday was quite a bad clubbing night for me. Didn't have any mood to club. Feels like drinking and drinking and drinking. Wanna get drunk but I'm sure Wyman would kill me for that so I just drank flaming lambo and martell. It was so little and I couldn't even get high at all. Sigh. What a night. School is re-opening tomorrow for me. Naise lor. My holidays is only 3 days lor. Why can't my course be as slack as any other course? And my stupid timetable is like everyday 8.30 starts. Like god damn tiring only. Sigh. And I'm meeting Hubby on Wednesday for dinner. See. So good girl. Never go club. Ladies night somemore! HAHAHAHA.

I'm not waiting for a Prince. I'm waiting for the one who thinks I'm his princess.

2011-07-22T16:12:00.004+08:00

Trying to act cute. HAHAHAHA. Was lazy to update plus I got no idea what to update. W sucks cause he's not free to accompany me today. HAHAHA. Amgl is going to Malaysia today. Bon Voyage baby. I'll miss you, definitely ): I'm finally able to club because exams are finally overrrrrrr! HOHO. Let's drink and dance! :D Hmmm. Meeting W for dinner tomorrow before heading over to ph. Hehe. Time to er ren shi jie with him ♥

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

2011-07-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know why am I doing over here when I'm supposed to study. I haven't been study for like straight 3 days -.- Tomorrow is my exams and I'm still procrastinating. How nice lor. Sian. Went dating with Hubby yesterday. Have lunch with him and walk around at Amk. Went to Bugis to have our dessert because Hubby feels like having dessert. Fatass greedy Hubby. Haha. As for today, Hubby drove over to Sembawang to find me. Slack around at my house and then he went off to gym while I'm stuck at home because I need to study. Sian max. Time to hit my books. Study lah Clairis Lee. Tomorrow exams already still down here slacking. Hubby is so gonna kill me. SHIT. HAHAHA.

I love talking to you before I go to bed because then I fall asleep with a smile.

2011-07-15T16:14:00.004+08:00

I hate it when readers and stalkers are stalking my blog and yet asking me questions about my ex. My ex decided to announce to the world that he's with my friend then let him be lah. Why ask me about the girl, my ex and my feelings? Should I even feel sad about it that he's really gone when I got my own problems to handle and my studies? Do I even have the fucking time to go stalk my ex and his current girl? -.- There's only time to think how to ace my exams and where to play after my exams with hubby or whoever not. Ok. Shall stop about this topic.

Amgl called me when I was asleep yesterday. Hmmm. Think Amgl miss me too much already. Hehe. Sigh. Don't feel like studying ): How am I supposed to ace my exams in this manner? Pass is never a problem but ace-ing my exams is a huge problem ): I hate studying!

Disclaimer: My ex's problems is not really affecting me but it's pissing me off because it's my fucking blog. If you wanna know more about him, please go to facebook and search alvin cantlivewithoutchocolates and ask him DIRECTLY ok -.- KTHXBYE!

If you wanna know where your heart is, notice where your mind wanders

2011-07-14T22:35:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm. I felt like shit today. I swear this is like the first time I lost to someone in mind games seriously. Pfft. Nehmind. At least I've learn a new thing. Shall never make the same mistake anymore. Fang fang is right. He's a master in relationships; a Casanova. I'm not trying to be a sexist here but guys are like cockroaches. They are everywhere on the ground. Common and dirty. HAHAHAHAHA. Whatever lah. I still love my life anyways. Because, HUBBY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME! :D Hubby today in his texts like cute only. Like some small boy like that. Feels like pinching his cheeks seriously. Love you baby (:

I'm letting go, no more looking back.

2011-07-12T13:10:00.003+08:00

Woohoos. Like damn long never update. Went to kbox yesterday at scape with Jason and Jackson. Sing till 2 am. Slack awhile, then Jason and Jackson cab me home. Gonna go out later to mug with Pawan and Jason Chin. Lol. So many Jason in my contact list now. Ahah. Amgl is real sweet. Really. He wanna come over and take care of me yesterday due to some stuffs but I was too tired and I'm going out to mug today so I didn't wanna stay out late. No matter what, Amgl, thanks for being so patient with me all these while. Appreciate it. I mean it (:

Shit happens. Don't let that bastard gets you down.

2011-07-06T18:30:00.003+08:00

Butter Factory tonight with Amgl, kiao, Jason and a few more. Woohoos. And I just changed my whole playlist and put it on shuffle. Addicted to the thai song. I LIKE THE DRUM BEAT OF THE THAI SONG. Like damn nice! Went home to download after Amgl let me listen in his car. Haha. Hmmm. Don't know what more to blog. One more hour and I can go prepare and it's time to, HANDS UP HANDS UP, PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP! Hahahahaha. Shit. I'm like some party animal. Ahhhhh. And saw my title? Yes. I wanna tell all the girls out there, don't let the guy that broke your heart brings you down. Stand strong sweethearts. There will be one guy out there who will find you perfect in his eyes no matter what.

The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.

2011-07-04T12:39:00.002+08:00

Lacking of quotes seriously. Well, Amgl has been such an ass. Feels like killing him at times. Haha. He has been disturbing me like mad and he doesn't wants to accept my friend request in fb. HOW NAISE OF HIM. Tsk. Confirmed got some other girl flirting with him in fb one lor. That's why don't want to accept my friend request. Bth. And he says I'm like damn good life cause got him to fetch me around. HAHAHAHA. Well, girls are meant to be doted on what. So suck thumb baby! Hehe. And, Amgl, you're cute :p

I love you like a love song

2011-06-26T15:47:00.004+08:00

I got no idea what to update but one of my bitch text me yesterday and said I like disappoear like that; never update blog, never facebook and I only active in twitter. SIGH. See lah. Everytime stalk my blog. WHAT A BITCH. Hahahaha. Well well well, haven't been updating my daily life. So yes! I went to Botanic Gardens with Shinny yesterday. He drove over to my house to fetch me and vroom vroom! Headed over to Botanic Gardens. And stupid Shinny keep on asking me road directions when I told him I'm a fucking idiot in road directions. See! This kind of guy should slap right?! TSK TSK.

Aftermath, headed over to dbg and watch " Mr Popper's Penguins " ! OMG. It's a real cute movie! As cute as me! HAHAHA. Just kidding. But I like the penguin that kept on falling down. It's a super cutie! So waited awhile for Elmo to come over to meet us after his S H I T T I N G session. Idiot. Go shit also must tell me. Such an ass. Haha. And then Hubby bomb me with like some atomic bomb. Told us to drive over to Timah first to have our Frog Leg Porridge and he'll be driving over also. After that say very full, don't wanna come ): Sadded. Didn't get to see him for weeks. HAHAHAHA.

Ok. Time for assignment. Report report report, powerpoint powerpoint and still powerpoint. Don't feel like presenting seriously. I shall appoint another person to present since I've been doing the report plus powerpoint. I can't cope with so many things seriously. I NEED TIME FOR MY CLASS TEST TOO. Wednesday is my class test and I still need to finish up all these things. I don't even have time for a swim or whatever not lah. Felt like shit when I stare in front of my report and I can't do a single thing or I don't know how to type it. I'm like wasting time sitting in front of my com and blogging seriously. I don't even think I got time for all these luxuries. Fuck it.

I'm better than your ex, fresher than your next

2011-06-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

HA. I'M BACK SWEETIES! Well, school been quite alright with me and next week is my class test already ): So fast exams already. ARGH. People having holidays and I need to mug. And not bad. I haven't finish my assignment. STILL NEED TO PRESENT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS AND I'M THE ONLY ONE PRESENTING. Sigh. And look at my eyebags in the picture. Ahhhh. Must have sufficient rest nowadays to cure my eyebegs man! Lucky my class starts in the afternoon tomorrow! Woots! Can sleep more. I'm in a financial problem nowadays. Sigh. The consequences of drinking, clubbing and shopping too much. Time to stop and have a normal weekends like all normal people do. I need to be normal again. Hahahaha. Results coming out next week. A N X I O U S.

He's really cute. I feel great when I'm with him, which is an entirely new experience.

2011-06-14T20:55:00.002+08:00

Look at my cute Hubby <3 Ok. I actually got no idea what to blog but I know stalkers out there have been asking me to update my blog. So here I am, writing nonsense. LOL. I like my blog first 2 songs. HOHO. Feels like playing Jubeat. Like damn long never play liao ): And I hate my timetable now. All morning classes. Lucky this Thursday is an afternoon class, which means.................CLUBBING HERE I COMEEEEE! Ha. I'm a party animal! :D I'm always eating and sleeping nowadays. Sigh. Stupid lecturer gave us our ERT already and I haven't revise yet ): This sucks. Best part is, I don't understand what the lecturer is talking about. How nice ): Aye. I still feel like eating ice cream ):

Why do we hold back the words we mean the most?

2011-06-09T16:56:00.004+08:00

HOHO. Back from Butter Factory and it wasn't as boring as I though but it was much more squeezy than I thought! I have never perspire in Powerhouse but I perspire like mad in Butter Factory due to all the body heat! NB! Played with Shinny's LED. HAHA. And I got blisters from my heels. SIAN! Saturday Powerhouse! HOHO. I'm a hardcore clubber. HAHAHAHA. So tired. Shall sleep soon -o- Shall visit Wyman Hubby at Expo if I'm free later or tomorrow. Hehe.

If you're through loving me, just tell me.

2011-06-08T15:37:00.003+08:00

Fever is gone! I swear I was suffering like shit yesterday. My fever was up to 38 degrees and it's on and off. Lucky I have my friends' loving care. Nicholas came over to pass me my dinner so I can take my medication. I was so sick that I couldn't get off the bed. I couldn't have pass this period without them man. HOHO. So now since I've recovered, it's BUTTER FACTORY tonight. H3h3.

He has gotten my heart, but he just doesn't know it yet

2011-06-06T16:11:00.002+08:00

Been an addicted blogger nowadays because I'm bored and I need somewhere to write down my thoughts. Well, I tried so hard to change back to the old me. I wanted back that innocent little girl. But I can never go back to the past anymore. Be it I wanna run away and avoid what happen back then or I've just changed too much, I simply can't change back to the past anymore. No doubt my last breakup has affect me real much. In fact, much greater than I thought I would be. I couldn't get it through without my friends but I can never get back to what I used to be anymore. I've changed. Yes. I do admit that to a certain extend but some stuffs are just my character, just that I didn't show them out. Don't treat love too seriously. You'll get played back. That's what I learn. I used to hate him. Hated him for lifting up my hopes and crashing it down time and time again. He blamed me for changing so much. But hell no. I just stopped acting the way he wanted me to be. Well, if you ask me now, I don't hate him but I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I don't know whether he'll be reading this but yes, I rather be a total strangers with him than being friends with him. I mean, why torture each other? I've let go completely and move on but it's kinda awkward I guess. Don't think I'll be talking to him unless he talks to me first.

Oh well. Time for bed. It's 1am already. Time to sleep! I wonder what he's (obviously not my ex) doing. Wonder have I ever crossed his heart or mind at times. So confused ):

Party goer; Party animal

2011-06-05T16:26:00.003+08:00

Hehe. Miss meeeeeee? I'm back from clubbing and it's AWESOME even though I saw someone that I really don't feel like seeing. Guys are all bastards. I think bitches are so much easier to handle than bastards though. Fuck guys. Well, dance like mad and I'm not drunk! HOHO. Nicholas came over to Powerhouse to fetch me after club ends. So sweet of him. Haha. Can't wait for my next clubbing session which is on Wednesday! Ladies night! Free flow of drink at Butter Factory. Ha. I'll make sure I drink till I drop. Just kidding. I must keep my no-more-getting-drunk promise to Wyman! :D

-Abrupt ends-

I don't want to fall for you. You just keep on tripping me.

2011-06-03T14:49:00.003+08:00

Hai babies. I'm blogging because I suddenly have the urge to blog. HOHO. Well, I look as though I have no make up in the photo but in reality, I have my eyeshadow, eyeliner with mascara on. Hehe. Just because I'm quite sick of thick eyeliner or thick make up, I decided to go out with neutral make up nowadays. Well, I went to my Aunt's house to eat. I'm starting to get closer with my family member and I guess that's a good sign. Family, what's better than having them by your side? My life is pretty awesome with awesome family members and friends. Hehe. Shinny has been far too cute for me to handle nowadays. Hahaha! Wyman Lee also. Everytime like to provoke him by asking him " You sure you don't like her? How's your 'fishing' day? " And he'll go like " HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT ASK? " Hahahaha! Well, exams are officially over and! I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW! CAN'T WAIT TO CLUB! Plus meet my girls. HOHO. And and, I'm going to Butter Factory with Nicholas on Wednesday. H3h3. CLUBBER SIOL! I'm a party goer; a party animal :D Why 24 hours so long one? Feel like partying today. HAHAHA. Shall see who's free :p

I can never be the apple of your eye--the story of your life.

2011-06-01T00:59:00.002+08:00

Well, I guess this is life. I just woke up from a very nice dream. But as I said, it's all a dream. He was never mine to start, wasn't mine to end too. I can never be his first, nor his last. He found someone and I'm happy for him (: And I can't believe how deeply he has attracted me after my last breakup. It's like I've never thought I would be attracted to him but somehow, I just am. He's like a dream. A sweet dream. But a dream is always a dream. Got to wake up. Haha. How nice is it to have someone who loves you more than you do? On a happier note, exams end on Thursday. Which means, CLUBBING, HERE I COMEEEEEEE! Oh oh. And guess who is that dumbass guy beside me? Haha.

I've learned that when it hurts too much inside your heart, it always has a way of showing, no matter how many masks you wear.

2011-05-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

Keke. I don't know how to describe this feeling inside me. Hmmmm, it's like a happy yet quite depressed feeling. I'm happy because my life is great and yet I'm depressed BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA FLUNK TOMORROW EXAMS :/ Sigh. Ok. Shall stop here and hit/punch/slap/kick my books. SIGH!

Mugging

2011-05-28T18:48:00.005+08:00

Sigh. I have been mugging everyday and I want to go clubbing so badly. Like right now. All my friends are going to club tonight and I'm busy mugging my studies. Sigh. So no life. But I don't really want to fail my exams. But I already read till I got no idea what to read -.- I wanna go club todayyyyyyy! And and, I change my blog songs. So addicted to it. Hehe. Can I go ph today? ):

Sometimes, it's easier to pretend you don't care than to admit that it's killing you.

2011-05-24T23:17:00.004+08:00

People find me perfect. Having a perfect family, perfect group of friends, perfect grades, good looking, slim and not lacking of love or guys. For me, my life sucks. I'm not good looking at all cause I've seen prettier ones out there. My good grades are grades that I fought back. My perfect family isn't perfect as my mom would scream at me whenever she's unhappy. My group of friends are busy with their own life too. Love isn't in my dictionary now cause my heart has not fully recovered yet.

But then, I always tell myself to be contented. I'm not good looking at least I'm not considered as ugly. My family is as intact as it is. My group of friends will always be there whenever I needed them no matter how busy they were. I fell down badly in love but this causes me a lesson in life. I've grown more mature and seen things more clearly now. Even though I might have changed, but don't judge me. You've never gone through what I've gotten through. You don't know how painful it is for my emotional state at one point of time. You'll never know how is it like to gone through a stage where you can't even swallow a single thing and everything that goes in your mouth, you just feels like vomitting out.

You'll never know how does it like to cry yourself to sleep every night and yet even after crying, you can't even go to bed. You don't know how is it like when you hear the guy you love so much looking straight to your eyes and tell you " I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. " To people, I've changed. To me, I'm just building up that wall of defense so that I don't get hurt anymore. Afterall, it's an instinct to protect yourself after getting hurt time after time.

But still, I'm contented with what I have now. I seriously am. I told myself always to be grateful for what I've now. I always told myself there's always a brighter side to look on. That's why I don't really throw my tantrum nowadays. Or rather, I don't even throw my tantrums. Not even at home. Be grateful is always the best thing in life (:

Sometimes, all I really need is someone to hug me tight and refuse to let me go until I feel better.

2011-05-23T21:51:00.003+08:00

Hehe. I'm posting again. Went to study at mac today. Totally unproductive. Like wtf lah -.- So I shall go back to study after blogging. Sian. Major exams coming up and my next timetable are all morning classes. This means I got to wake up at 6.30 -.- Confirmed late cause of the morning peak also. Damn it. And I can't do my accounts! ): I don't know how to do lahhhh! SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH! Shit accounting. PFFT!

The most difficult thing I have yet to learn is how to live without you in my life..

2011-05-22T18:27:00.003+08:00

I hate being affected by some stuffs. I swear. I don't like to have this huge armour on me. Sometimes, I just want to break down and cry as much as I could. But I couldn't. I couldn't cry anymore and I don't want to. I hate to drop a tear because that would remind me that I couldn't let go and how much this love has meant to me. I fake everyone. I told everyone I'm alright. I gotten over it. I let go. I'm contented with me life. And yes. I'm contented with my life but I never have gotten over it. I've let go but I've never forgotten him. I'm a bitch. A stubborn one. Faithfully believe he'll be back one day but I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of seeing him with some other girls out there. I'm tired of seeing him falling in love with other girls out there. I'm god damn tired. 我最心爱的男人把我变成世上最笨的女人.

Super bass

2011-05-18T13:05:00.003+08:00

Hello Sweeties! I'm back! Miss me right?! Hahaha! Just crapping. Using the time that I have now before I go to school to blog. Damn. I've been partying all day and all night. Oh oh! Did I mention that even though I've been partying, I did study for my class test?! I got A ok! Hehe. So to those who thinks that I've been wasting my life away by partying, then you're wrong! Because not only play is in my dictionary now, studies has also been one of the goals I've been aiming for. I'll never forget my straight As for my diploma. So yup! Besides playing hard, I've been studying hard too! Hoho! I like challenges in my life. Because they are what that makes me strong. And yes! Supafly with Kzee on Saturday with my gems! :D I think I'm not going. JUST KIDDING. HOW CAN I MISS MY LAST CLUBBING SESSION?! :p

When I see your smile, and I know it's not for me, that's when I'll miss you

2011-05-14T19:43:00.004+08:00

I need to change back to the old me. I seriously need to. I can't wallow myself in self pity anymore. I can't and I won't. Hehe. Gonna club again later! Teehee. 2 nights of clubbing and I'm dying. But it's alright because I get to enjoy with my friends! AWESOME LIFE. Must enjoy this week because my major exams gonna starts soon. Maybe after Monday's trilogy night I wont be going clubbing anymore. Stay home and study! :D I must remember to change back to my GOODGIRLCLAIRY :D

18th birthday blast!

2011-05-08T10:15:00.004+08:00

Fuck yeah! It's my birthday today! Faster wish me Happy birthday! Haha. I had a blast for my countdown birthday party at St James! I'll be back after I collected all the photos! :D Ok. I should stop being so wild already! Time to study if not Hubby will kill me! ):

P/S: I think I got a pretty awesome life with my friends (:

Unforgettable night

2011-05-05T20:55:00.002+08:00

At Hubby's house from yesterday till today. Study study and still study. Slack like mad too -.- Assignment half done and my OB isn't finish yet! The only thing that I finish revising is Business in Accounts and Finance. How nice -.- Accounts and Finance's class test is next week. And there's one question I still don't know how to do! ): Got to ask my lecturer. So gonna aim full marks for my class test because I only got 4 questions! Besides that 1 question I still haven't figure out how to do, the rest are no kick! Hoho! Provided I got no careless mistakes :/ Full marks, here I come! And I didn't puff for the whole day. Good girl or what! :D

Using my old lappie

2011-05-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

I'm using my old lappie to blog! And it sure does brings back tons of memories. Esp when all of the photos when my ex and I just got started off. And I took out my old phone. Read back all the promises we used to have. And then I realised not only sad and painful memories that I had with him, but the happy memories are always there. Sometimes people tend to look at the bad ones. For me now, I just wanna look at the good ones and this includes memories with my friends and family. Maybe by doing this, I'll learn how to cherish people beside me. Of course luh, this will be the first time I'm doing this ( reading back all the messages we used to have ) and the last time. He have moved on like a bullet train in his life and I shall leave already. He's happy with his life so yes, I'm leaving him alone. 哭过就好了，痛都会走的。忍住了痛离开了你的怀抱，什么都不要, 只要你快乐就好了(:

完美的句号

2011-05-03T01:26:00.001+08:00

Ok. Bear with the used photo. I'm using my iPhone to blog now. My stupid brother did something to my laptop and now my whole laptop cannot connect to my Internet connection. How nice _|_

Ok. I fell down badly in love again. Due to my indecisiveness, I've make him lost hope in us. When I decided to go back to him, he shut the door on me and told me he likes another girl. Whatever lah. Tsk. So my lovely Hubby has been helping me to stand up all these while. Whenever I need someone, I'll just turn to him. He made me strong. He's the reason I'm standing strong now. I was so close to breaking down like shit. So close. I thought I could be nonchalant about it. But when I thought of the date today, I just can't help it but broke down a tiny little bit. Haha. Maybe mood swing plays a part of my current mood now.

I got tons of goals I got to achieve and work towards it now. Every little mistakes that I made, makes me grows up. Ok. Maybe I've not fully grown up yet. But hey! I'm just 18! Don't go too hard on me!

First thing first, Im gonna study hard and achieve the grades that I'm aiming for. My first priority now. Nothing can beat that. Not even clubbing. Haha!

2nd thing, I've realised from young, my daddy and mommy has been treating me like a little princess. I've been spoilt by them. Therefore I'm wilful, egoistic and have an attitude that none can bear except for fang fang. Haha. So my 2nd priority is to change this stupid attitude of mine. Be a happy cheerful Clairis and not an attitude bitch.

3rd thing, I wanna stop being so wild now. So I'm stopping clubbing, drinking and even smoking. But of course, when there's special occasion, I'll definitely club. But never every Saturday there. Will die one you know!

4th thing, I should think before I say. Sometimes people take things too seriously. Yes. I maybe sarcastic at times but do note that I'm not doing this on purpose. Sometimes I'm too busy by the people who's talking to me till I got no time to react to any words that is coming out of my mouth.

5th thing, stand strong. I'm gonna stand strong. Be strong. I'm not gonna let anyone worry about me anymore. Esp wyman. Have been emo-ing to him since the day I broke off with my ex till now. Esp these few days when my mood swing is terrible, he has been patient with me, hearing all my rants. I couldn't thank him much more. I promise him to be strong. So yes. I'm gonna stand strong. Wyman lee, one day you'll be proud of me. I'm sure of that (:

Your love gives me a heart confusion.

2011-04-26T20:44:00.002+08:00

Look at my ultra cock face. LOL. Skipped lecture yesterday cause they told me I've been attending to the wrong class for the whole week. Totally no mood for my second lecture after that. Stupid school. Tell me to throw away the correct timetable and gave me the wrong one. How nice -.-

I'm leaving everything to fate. No distance is too far for love. If you really love me, you wouldn't have hurt me so badly.

Be strong my dear.

2011-04-22T01:59:00.001+08:00

Ciaossu! I've neglecting my blog! Due to studies. So I supposed readers should be understanding enough right? Besides, I'm nice enough to blog from my iPhone! :D I'm stressed up by my lecturers at school. Nowadays, I went home and straight away open up my books. Like super no life but for my grades, worth it. I have been going hard on myself. It's just 4 days that school started and I've been studying like mad. How nice if I could study like this during my o levels. I think I'll be in SP now lor. Lol. Gotta sleep now. Need to wake up early to mug again! :D

School school school!

2011-04-19T18:04:00.002+08:00

Study study study! Woots. I went to school and was late. Reach school at 12.30? Hahahaha. 2 hours of school. How nice. Was supposed to end at 3.15 and my lecturer released us early! Which is like 2.15? I don't even think I studied at all lah! First day of school and assignment is down. God damn shit. Gonna be busy now! Gonna study now! Because my lecturer told us to read my OB(Organisational behaviour) notes because of our assignment. Idiotic shit. Chiong chiong chiong! 19th May must hand up already! Argh! But I like to chiong studies now! :D

宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝宝?

2011-04-18T19:50:00.004+08:00

我在你最需要人陪的时候总是在你身边。但，在我最需要你的时候，你又在哪里?

Best husband ♥

2011-04-16T12:11:00.002+08:00

I got fucking drunk yesterday. Ok. Maybe not fucking drunk but fucking tipsy. Luckily I called my hubby. He got worried and drove over to club filter to fetch me. And I was crying like wtf in the car. Hahahaha. And I keep on talking cock in the car lah! Fml. And I fell down like umpteen times. I got bruises all over. Idiotic. And I keep on saying I want smoke. Ahahahaha. No more red wine for me already. I swear. Red wine makes me drunk easily -.- And I pinky promise my dearest husband that this is the first time and the last time. If I break my promise, you can chop off my pinky! In any way, thanks my dearest hubby for coming over and taking care of me. Holding me because I kept on falling down. Tolerating all my nonsense in the car and making sure I reach home safely and helping me to my bed. Thanks for being such a great friend and sweetest husband in the world :D Love you! ♥

And not forgetting my lovely boyfriend Bryant Mai who called me and got worried because I didn't text him I'm alright by 2am. Thanks a dozen! ♥

On a random note, I still can see the club filter chop on my hand. Hahahaha!

Standing strong

2011-04-15T01:15:00.001+08:00

I'm standing strong. I need to. I have to. Just because I got to let the both of us move on easily. How irony is life? The one that got smash to the ground have to stand up and pretend everything is fine instead of crying so that no one will worry for her. Oh well. I need to live my life to the fullest! I'm starting school on Monday. Teehee. Oh oh! I hope I got to work the job I just interviewed today. I only got to Friday and Saturday only. And I swear the pay is fucking high. $20/h! Oh man! Please let me work. I need money :(

My heroes, my lovelies, my precious

2011-04-13T01:04:00.003+08:00

Whenever I felt like giving up, I look at all these photos and found the courage to stand up. Friends have definitely played a huge part in my life after I've fallen so badly from my previous relationship. Giving me the shoulders I need, the help and encouragement. Definitely emo like shit in the beginning but because all of them have been standing beside me whenever I need someone, I've pluck up all my courage to stand up. Of course, I've not completely recover. I'm still affected in a way or another. But nevertheless, they are the gems in my life (:

Time will heal my wounds.

2011-04-11T02:01:00.002+08:00

At Bryant's house now! So in the end he found a new girl. Is that a good thing or a bad one? At least I know I'm not the girl he's missing and I won't be so confused about what to do. Because I'm left with no choice. Got to let him go no matter what now.